Seasonal Affective Disorder

Life is falling into place. It is as if everything and everyone arrived at a collective epiphany - kinda like simultaneous orgasms, you know? Which if I may insert, are the best kinds though I am unsure if that transfers into this situation- and dutifully took their place, bearing in mind to do so discreetly so as not to frighten or shock me but to allow me to come to my own realisation at my own time. They make their presence known in little ways: an otherwise negligible comment here and a seemingly routine email there.

But their presence is undeniable and the silence they proffered displayed their resolve to stay. I suppose I have my part to play in all of this: one or two decisions here and there, a little planning for now and beyond. But for it all to bloom into tangible evidence so quickly is still a bit overwhelming. I underestimated the power of action.

A part of me is a little unnerved by this neat and almost sterile big picture. I rather miss chaos, irregularity, not knowing what I will wake up to tomorrow (or where I will wake up for that matter). I thrive on that drama shit, you know? And yet I am unable to concentrate in a room that is disorganized. I make to do lists and tick them off but I like leaving mugs sitting on my table.