So many tasks and thoughts and so little time.
It's been a long day. Wednesdays almost always follows a sequence in which two outcomes prevail:
- Full day at work, followed by class. I arrive home exhausted and drained, fall asleep immediately and wake up feeling more tired than I did the night before.
- Full day at work, followed by class. I arrive home exhausted, drained and jaded as fuck. Stay up contemplating shit-all scenarios, lose myself in Mary Louise Parker, and wake up the next day feeling shittier than I did the day before.
To be fair, I am handling this 16 hour day quite well considering that I have not abandoned it altogether. The past two weeks of snow days provided much needed respite from the grind and it makes me feel self-important to throw myself into it again.
Andi arrives tomorrow. In one swooping notion, we've changed the course of our lives. I am terrified. So many what-ifs, not enough time to explore them all. Just as many but-ifs, not enough time to list them all. I ought to be excited and I really am but it's having a hard time trying to come through. The truth is, I am exhausted, drained and jaded as fuck.
Andi arrives tomorrow. In one swooping notion, we've changed the course of our lives. I am terrified. So many what-ifs, not enough time to explore them all. Just as many but-ifs, not enough time to list them all. I ought to be excited and I really am but it's having a hard time trying to come through. The truth is, I am exhausted, drained and jaded as fuck.
1 comment:
hang in there babe. things always fall into place and they will continue to do so. better to do all that you can so you'll never have what ifs right :) lurve you! going out tonight i'll fill u and andrew in on my weekend adventures nxt week :) have fun..hope i dont hear u frm across the street hahaha
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