Home stretch

With the present workload, I am gripped with the fear that I am meeting the wrong deadline; I am worried that I am not meeting deadlines that were supposed to have been met instead of working on what I am on. This semester has been quite the mystery. The papers write themselves so effortlessly and despite the 4 pending deadlines off the top of my head, I have just spent an entire evening watching TV. But about those papers, this term has been a breeze. Eight paged papers get done in two hours, reports in six, and term papers in three. Despite this seemingly careless attitude, my grades seem to say otherwise. With ONE WEEK away from being done with school, I am a little remorseful that I only learned this skill in my very last term; at the same time, I'm glad I learned this skill at all.

Time to start work. Coming in for the home stretch, baybeh!

A tribute to Forster

Between Klein and Greenspan, I polished off another Forster within a week. It was a short read - but a most delicious one indeed. I borrowed it from Sar after I saw it sitting on her shelf when I went over for a second Diwali dinner. A Passage to India was my first Forster book. I don't remember now where I first heard of the book or of Forster as an author but when I found Passage to India in the thrift store for 50 cents, I thought 'why not?'.

A Passage to India was delectable. Forster has this uncanny ability to understand the human psyche and translate the very essence of being into words. His books are always short reads but his choice of words so exquisite - he conveys volumes of nuances and secrets within secrets with but a few choice words. Owing to a shared history of colonialism, many times throughout reading APassage to India I come across a passage that so describes exactly how I feel or have felt but have always encountered trouble when trying to relay my sentiments. The genius that is Forster lies in his ability to truly grasp the meaning to be both a British colonial figure and an Indian and to explicitly reveal the delicate game in which both are intertwined without being coarse or vulgar.

While I profess to having more in common with A Passage to India then to Maurice, Forster's account of a man's desires, wantings, impulses, repulses, and all that makes one human is incredibly touching. It reads like an open book - like an old friend recounting deep, dark secrets meant for your ears only. Most importantly, one finds oneself in a position of non-judgment. Despite Maurice's "erroneous" tendencies, one cannot help but feel his very pain or ecstacy; one finds oneself rooting for him, searching for ways in which his desires can be met and his happiness fulfilled.

Forster has a way of creating an intimate bond between reader and character, much like God himself.

I am truly warped

I dreamt that in the heart of Central London, there is a pond where shrooms grow in abundance and "you literally buy it off stalls that are set up around the pond" (security guard in my dream, 2008). This place is called 'Your Bitches'.

Geeking

Padahal, I have shit loads I should be doing instead of all the nonsense blog-surfing and Huffington Post I've been doing. On a more productive note, I ran today! It's not often that I run and admittedly, I didn't get far but it was a productive thing to do nonetheless. I'm also on a bit of a health binge. Not sure how long this will last but we'll see.

I'm excited for the plans that we've put in place. It will be sad but I like new beginnings and new places. It will also mean new people and some very good old friends so there is no fear! Right now, things are still up in the air; the clouds have yet to form but once they do, I will be more careless with my announcements.

Naomi Klein may just have changed the course of my life. It is still too early to say but if she indeed did, she will hear from me. I promise I will not let her go unappreciated. Honestly, I will be gifting a lot of Shock Doctrines this year. My next read is by Alan Greenspan. It will be an intellectual read-off!

Oh, the pain

I'm down with a stomach bug. You know it's true because it's been confirmed by Google. On the upside, I am losing the weight I gained on the cruise and have been meaning to get rid off. On the flipside, I feel like shit.

Epiphany!

The 1630 hours bus coming down the hill is always a bitch because it's always so full. I caught the intermediate bus (between 1630 and 1730) so it was less packed. Anyhow, I was thinking of all these firms I told myself I will apply to and couldn't quite decide which ones I like best. So I tried to imagine myself as the power tripping, Wall Street/Canary Wharf/Roppongi Hills/Lujiazui royalty hobnobbing employee (needless to say, avec perks) and the more I thought about it, the more I realised I don't want to work! I had an epiphany! Since markets are so shit anyways and my chances of scoring a sweet-ass job have been almost completely obliterated, I figure I have nothing to lose anyway and can afford to take some time off to explore my options. By that, I of course mean that I shall spend my days running around towns, both foreign and familiar, and spending someone else's money. Since the global economy is now teetering on the verge of a crisis comparable to the Great Depression, salvageable only by the Asian propensity to spend, I shall do my part as a citizen of this world to save the economy! I shall put aside my immediate hopes and dreams for the sake of future generations and fellow compatriots.

It's really quite benevolent, I think.

Crossroads

I am at a bit of a crossroads. Two months away from pledging career loyalties, I am suddenly at a lost; you see, I am no longer sure of where my loyalties lie. This damned West Coast, socialist-friendly attitudes have infected me! As I am quick to announce once slightly intoxicated, I have always been pro laissez-faire, pro free trade, and anti government intervention in all things related to the economy. I believe the government ought to serve a regulatory role, with interventions restricted to mostly social institutions (e.g. education, health care, police). Of course, this is a rather naive notion for many reasons but my views are neither uncommon nor unsupported by popular policy.

However, my frequent interaction with self-righteous, self-proclaimed ethical bastards in school and Atena (who is NOT a self-righteous, self-proclaimed ethical bastard) have piqued my curiousity about what really goes on on the other side. So I picked up Naomi Klein's The Shock Doctrine at CostCo (an irony in its own right, actually, since Klein is anti-corporation) and at a discount price, if I may add, and she has single-handedly challenged what I thought were firm and just beliefs.

Having been educated in business school, any thoughts pertaining to ethics and the notion of "fairness" I countered with a sneer and condescension. There is a small but strong niche that believes that it is possible to do the right thing and remain profitable and this resilient bunch is often met with snide comments (mostly from the likes of yours truly). Nonetheless, I respect their commitment to fairness and justice and the well-being of others. Perhaps, from experience, I just cannot comprehend how one is able to get ahead in life without trampling on another in the scramble for scarce opportunities and resources.

Now, barely two months away from pledging career loyalties, I do not wish to pine after the corner office knowing full well that I may have to exercise options that will make the poor poorer in order to be conferred the corner office. But I still want the corner office, goddamnit! I am no longer certain what is right or wrong and it is both troubling and disturbing. I entered university with big, wet, shiny eyes and a bundle of aspirations and questions that I would have hopefully found the answers to by the time I leave; now it seems that I only have more questions and no one in sight with answers.